Words that Should Exist, But Don't

or alternately

Words that Don't Exist, But Should

or even possibly

Words that Don't Exist, And Should Stay That Way

by

Carolita Ionescu et al.

DAGGUM (DAG-gum) Noun. An attack by a demon cat. ex. "The campers managed to survive the grue attack, somehow, but did not survive the daggum that they experienced later in the day."
Origin: English "damn" + the name of a fictional government body "Dagoth." 2008.

DE-PICASSO (dee-pih-KAHS-o) -ing, -ed Verb. To replace the word "Picasso" with something that rhymes (such as "mi gato" or "grey taco") at every available opportunity, esp. in songs.
Origin: From the name of the famous Spanish artist Pablo Picasso. 2007.

DUNWICH (DUHN-witch) Noun. A sandwich that has been burnt because the person cooking it left it on the frying pan, went to do something else (esp. a dance), and completely forgot about it.
Origin: English "done" + "sandwich". May also refer to Dunwich, which was the setting of some H.P. Lovecraft story that I never actually read. 2007.

EGG (egg, duh) Noun. A lazy person, or a person who currently feels lazy.
Origin: Spanish "huevono/a" which sounds like Spanish "huevo" which means egg. 2008.

EXHAUSTIPATED (eg-ZOHST-ih-payt-ed) Adjective. So tired that when you try to speak, nothing comes out right.
Origin: English "exhausted" + "constipated." 2007.

FHISHINUIBAWAAE (fish-in-oo-ey-BAA-wah) Noun. 1. A rare species of sea serpent found only on the floor of the Black Sea (Cintifilia idiotus). In fact, it's so rare that it's never even been spotted once. 2. An error made while creating a key for a code, causing strange, often humorous mistakes while attempting to translate something.
Alt. fishinooiebawa. Origin: English "fish" + "gnu" + Spanish "va a" (it goes to). 2006.

GITH (gihth) Adjective. Right, correct, indeed. ex. "This is your book, gith?" "That's gith."
Origin: unknown. 2007.

HAPE (HEYP) Adjective. 1. Happy. Noun. 2. Happy rape. 3. Happy tape. 4. Happy cape. 5. Happy ape. 6. Happy nape (as of the neck). 7. Happy shape. 8. Happy grape. 9. Happy Snape. 10. Happy slobbermonkeydroolfacebasketballpwnzorlololololololololmouse111111111.
See also slobbermonkeydroolfacebasketballpwnzorlololololololololmouse111111111.
Origin: From a misspelling, and subsequent misunderstanding, of the English "happy." 2008.

HEPATITTIES (hep-pah-TIT-teez) Noun. Hepatitis of the breast [whatever that means].
Origin: English "hepatitis," duh. 2008.

HOT LESBIAN ACTION Noun. A bee that has drowned or is currently drowning, but only applies when it is in water.
Origin: In-joke referring to an episode of the anime Strawberry Panic!, in which a girl invites another girl to ''play around'' by using a nonsensical metaphor involving bees and water. 2008.

LIVINGE (LIH-vihndj) Verb. To give birth to.
Origin: English->Chinese->English translation of a line from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. 2007?.

LUNACHIC (LOO-nah-chick) Noun. 1. A crazy girl. 2. A nocturnal chicken.
Origin: English "lunatic" + "chick." 2007.

MANNYFLOWER (MA-nee-fla-wer) Noun. A rose.
Origin: "Manny," a derivative of the Christian name "Emmanuel" + English "flower." 2008.

MARKY (MAR-kee) Adjective. Posessing a certain blend of inherent qualities (which may or may not include misanthropy, depression, extremely good looks, creativity, psychopathy, chlorosis, and/or Renfield's Syndrome) that cause 14-year-olds to fall madly in love with you even though you may or may not be someone said 14-year-olds would normally think worthy of falling in love with.
Origin: From the Christian name "Mark," meaning either "toga-wearing god of war and sexiness" or "bit of paint on the wall because somebody got creative." 2008.

MOENY (MO-uh-nee) Noun. One who repeatedly refuses to accept financial favors, even when they are offered by a close friend or relative (and they really are necessary).
Origin: English "money" + Afrikaans "moenie," meaning "do not." 2007.

MOUSTA (MOW-stuh) Noun. 1. A marshmallow that has been squished between the seats in the car and been forgotten about for several days. 2. A marshmallow from Russia, esp. a green one. Plural moustardsz.
Origin: English "marshmallow" + "mustard," Slavicized. 2007.

PEASY (PEE-zee) Adjective. Horny. to have [a case of] the peasies :: to be horny.
Origin: Cockney slang "peas in a pot," meaning "hot." 2008.

PIANO (pee-EAH-no) Noun. A peace of furniture upon which or within which one may sleep, rest, stay while sick, stay while not sick, or have sex. to go to -- :: to retire for the evening.
Origin: English "piano forte." 2008.

PINEAPPLE (PYN-ap-pul) Noun. 1. A tropical, bromeliaceous plant, ananas comosus, that develops from a spike or head of flowers and is surmounted by a crown of leaves, or the fruit of said plant. 2. The physical embodiment of all things erotic, perverted, or overly sexual in nature.
Origin: English "pineapple," a tropical, bromeliaceous plant, ananas comosus, that develops from a spike or head of flowers and is surmounted by a crown of leaves. It also has nothing to do with sex and we have no idea how it came to be associated with it. 2008.

PURPLE ELEPHANT SYNDROME Noun. A psychological disease caused by listening repeatedly to the song "Dragostea din tei," by the Romanian musical group O-zone. Symptoms of this disease include nausea, vomiting, and excessive singing. The reccomended treatment is five days' bed rest, with something completely different to listen to. This disease is most noteworthy as its symptoms can sometimes cause more distress to those around the victim than to the victim his/herself.
Origin: from English "Pink Elephant Syndrome," caused by drinking large amounts of alchohol. 2007.

QUISH (KWISH) Verb. To squish.
Origin: From the English word "squish." 2003.

RUBULA (ROOB-yoo-lah) Noun. 1. The temporary, unofficial name given to an object whose true name has been forgotten. 2. The hilarity, commotion, or general uproar that ensues from the use of a rubula in mixed company.
Origin: English "arugula," or eruca vesicaria sativa, a type of lettuce. 2007.

SHAROON (sha-ROON) Noun, adjective. An imaginary color that does not really exist. This is believed to be the color of the Fourth Primary Color that the Farazhian religion revolves around.
Alt. charoon. Origin: English "maroon," a purplish color. 2007.

SHEBOB (sheh-BAHB) Noun. 1. A spider, esp. a large one, that has been speared on a stick. 2. A Shish kebab containing a large amount of meat of unidentified variety.
Origin: from the name "Shelob," a spider in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, derived from Old English "lob," spider. Also, "kebab," roast meat and vegetables often served on a skewer. 2007.

SHEEPFUCKER (SHEEP-fuk-ker) Noun. Someone who brings up a joke that's already been beaten to death, smushed into a flat pancake, and hung out to dry, and yet, miraculously, is still funny.
Origin: The joke after which this is named involved a young woman ranting about sex with a sheep. 2005 [?].

SHNOIKEY (SHNOY-kee) Interj. Expression of distaste, dismay, or sudden incontinence.
Alt. shnikey (SHNAI-kee). Origin: Presumably from a combonation of "Nike" and "Sketchers," both the names of American sneaker manufacturers. 2006 [?].

SLOBBERMONKEYDROOLFACEBASKETBALLPWNZORLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLMOUSE111111111 (SLAHB-ber-muhn-kee-DROOL-fays-BAS-ket-ball-PAWN-zor-LAWL-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl-MOWS-wun-wun-wun-wun-wun-wun-wun-wun-WUN) Noun. Someone who spams forums with poorly-written brags about how their team won the basketball game last Friday, how they got a ninety-four in Japanese class and that's their lowest grade, or anything else intended to make others jealous. The typical slobbermonkeydroolfacebasketballpwnzorlololololololololmouse111111111 is a twelve-year-old white male whose parents baby him and tell him he is so much more skilled, handsome, etc. than he (or anyone else in the world, for that matter) actually is.
Alt. baby emo. Origin: GOD ONLY KNOWS. 2008.

WOTO MARSHMALLOW (WOH-tow MAARSH-mel-loh) Noun. A melted marshmallow from New Zealand that has brought death upon an unfortunate bungee-jumper.
Origin: none that we can discern. 2007.