SCENE I by Keith
Dan: You can't use an Unforgivable Curse!
Gandalf: You got a point there. And we're hungry.
*Turns Dan into a stack of Burger King cheeseburgers*
Aragorn: YAY!
Arsenie: Well I guess his death wasn't in vain after all. Eat up, mateys!
SCENE II
Faramir: Excellent!
Arsenie: [reaches for cheeseburger]
Random girl: Nuuuuuuu, antropofagii! Antropofagii!! [grabs Arsenie's arm and starts punching him]
Aragorn: Did she just call you a fag?
Arsenie: No, she called us cannibals.
Aragorn: These are burgers! Burgers are made out of cows!
Faramir: No ... it's Soylent Green ...
Arsenie: What?
Faramir: Nevermind. [takes bite of cheeseburger]
[pile of cheeseburgers suddenly turns back into Dan]
Dan: Uh ... ?
Faramir: [removes teeth from Dan's arm] Um ... hi!
Dan: Faramir, tell me honestly. DO I LOOK LIKE AN OCTOPUS TO YOU!?
Elladan: He doesn't look like one from here!
[Elladan walks over on his knees with a fake beard]
Aragorn: Elladan, is that you?
Elladan: No, I am Balin, Lord of Moria!
Dan: I'm the Lord of Moria? Cool!
Aragorn: Hey, bro-in-law, it's been ages! How ya been?
Elladan: I am not Elladan! I am Balin, and I was... uh... ummm....
Elrohir: [runs over, whispers something in Elladan's ear, runs off]
Elladan: I was temporarily detained due to a revolting blacksmith population.
Arsenie: No, I think you're an elf. [steals fake beard]
Elladan: Hey! ... hey! Give me that back!
Arsenie: Hahahaha... [throws beard off bridge]
Gandalf: [gasp] Senny!! Time-out for you, young man!
Arsenie: You're not my mother.
Gandalf: No, Luke... I am your father.
Arsenie: Who's Luke?
Dan: Are you just retarded?
Elladan: No... my beard... nooooooo... [starts crying]